it's funny, i thought about my first day at work this summer multiple times today; i received so many texts and bbm's wishing me luck and success on this big endeavor...i didn't take my phone out of my bag until lunchtime that week. now, i bbm or text almost all day long, almost every day. get at me tomorrow; let's come full circle.
i got stuck on the t this morning for the first time ever between mass general and park street because of a "disabled" train at park street. what do you think that means? disabled, like the wheels fell off? (are there wheels on a train?) or like the computers went haywire? or disabled like the train started to stutter and foam? hmm.
i saw the walking heart attack on the train this afternoon. she had her eyes closed and i tried to take a picture of her with my phone to share with you all, but because we were underground the flash went off and i got really scared so i didn't get a clear picture. i know you're disappointed, maybe i'll see her tomorrow on my FINAL commute!
so i get to work this morning (20 minutes late; my boss is affected, too, and shows up like 40 minutes late). we have a team meeting at 10 am; karin walks in with 10 pink/yellow roses, a card from everyone in the office, and a starbucks gift card. afterwards, marissa showers me with a steppingstone pullover and waterbottle. karin then proceeds to take me to lunch at the same spot we went my very first week; i love coming full circle.
in my review this afternoon (by the way, tomorrow is officially my last day, but if you haven't been keeping up with my blog, today was basically my last day because my boss is getting married this weekend and taking friday off to finish preparing for the wedding.) i was told that i am "an amazing worker," something i've been told before, but is still so nice to hear. i know that's a value and a trait that's been instilled in me because of where i've grown up, and it means so much when people tell it to me. i was also told that i am a tremendous writer and have a gift; she said it's rare to see someone whose prose doesn't need to be edited and can be sent out with little concern. this review was nice; they were things i've suspected and kind of known about myself, but it's nice to have them actually validated. and it's funny to work in a culture and an environment where there isn't praise or recognition of success or achievement on a regular basis; i never really knew how i was doing or if i was performing to expectation. school is different in that i'm constantly receiving feedback via comment or grade so i know i'm doing good work. a professional environment is different; i think it made me more motivated to consistently produce quality work because i never knew how well i was actually doing.
so i know you're all wondering... no, i did NOT cry. i got very, very teary during my review and my voice was broken the entire time i spoke, but no tears actually rolled down my cheeks. i realized two things, one of which i already knew, but the other i was unaware of; i do not respond well to change- changing environments, changing friends, changing situations...i am terrible at dealing with it. that i've always known. i never realized, however, how terrible i am at accepting compliments and praise; often i shrug them off in a sort of pompous, cocky, un-modest, or super self-validating way, but that's really hard to do when receiving them in a more professional setting. hopefully being praised in the workplace is something that continues..and if this is the case, i'm going to have to really work on this part of myself. no complaints, though, definitely not a bad thing to have to deal with! :)
i am not even close to being able to debrief on my experience yet, but my reactions will continue to evolve, develop, and consequently, be shared over the next month or so.
as i was thinking about everything, though, i started to wonder...i don't know when i became a strong writer. i don't know if it happened in college or if it was something that was recognized earlier on in elementary, middle, or high school. i mean, i always did well in english and jossy-saucy wrote in the journal she gave me for graduation that i had/have a gift, but i never actually thought i was any different from anyone else. and in all actuality, i'm probably not that good. i've gotta talk to dochou and JS when i get home about this...
i'm trying to figure out if i can run belone/mortgage hill. i think i can, i think i can.
i'm about 85% packed. all that's really left is to pack up whatever i decide i don't want to wear tomorrow to work, strip my bed, and throw together my bathroom stuff. i think tomorrow after work i will come home, change, and head to harvard square for supper, a teeny bit of shopping, and then see either food, inc. or julie & julia. i told eroy i'd see j&j with her saturday, so maybe i'll do food, inc. i better see it after i eat, though. did you know that 90% of the soybean industry is controlled by one company and they force their growers to use this semi-dangerous chemical on their crops?
i read today that scientists have recently discovered that there is a very strong correlation between people who have moderately high cholesterol in their late 40s and those who develop alzheimer's later on in life. i've never had my cholesterol checked, but i am a little more motivated to do so.
i put in a call today to my favorite fake-asian maria ragan today, as she leaves for madrid in the next few days. it was nice to catch up and hear her plans for the semester, as well as secure a couch and a location to crash during my 21st birthday celebrationSSSSS next may! :)
i've got a mad chill day lined up at work tomorrow. going to print everything i've been responsible for/worked on this summer, catch up on 3 weeks of journal entries, and finish writing the required 10-page minimum paper whitman requires as part of the internship graduation requirement. i'll probably take a semi-long lunch, go shopping, and spend a little time downtown! i actually really liked living outside of the city for multiple reasons: i was able to exercise late at night and never feel scared or in danger at all, the air is cleaner, and because it forced me to learn boston's t system. maybe i'll be back someday!
i've been loading up my itunes with the latest and greatest country hits recently. gotta be prepared to hit the valley and know the words to bonfire, it's america, wild at heart, and a few others. been brushing up on my classic kenny chesney, too.
yay for sam chasse taking off 2 afternoons to roll with me when i'm back. can't wait to be able to hit up the pi tourney for the first time in a few seasons. i've also been recruited to get back out on the field and workout/retrain a couple of young, warrior keepers. i miiiiight even hit up a session or two of summer bball if it's still rocking.
bedtime for me. thanks to everyone who has read this summer; i'm sorry to see this brief chapter come to an end. i'll get at you all when i'm back in the countyyyyy sunday night! (if i'm not busy scarfing down ice cream and seeing a movie that's just arrived in town that i watched 3 weeks ago...)
stay epic. mad, mad love to you all.
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